Send me a letter. Also, it's a good time to sign up for the Love Letters newsletter. I'm 27 and started my first serious relationship seven months ago. We became serious quickly (exclusive on our second date) and kind of skipped over the honeymoon period. We didn't want to waste time putting only our best foot forward. It didn't feel real or worth it to us. I've known that I love him since we were four months into the relationship and am aching to tell him. My fear is that if I say it first and he says it back right away, I'll forever convince myself that he only said it to be polite. But if I say it and he doesn't return the sentiment, I'll be so mortified. It was recently his birthday and I had decided to say it. Then I chickened out thinking that if he didn't say it back, it would ruin his birthday. It hurts not saying it, and I want to move our relationship forward. What do I do? Should I just jump in and risk it? Or should I wait for him to say it first? Is my fear a sign … [Read more...] about Should I say ‘I love you’ first?
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Seeking updates for the holiday. If you're a former letter writer, tell us what happened. Send your update with "update" in the subject line to [email protected] Dear Meredith, I'm in my 50s and have just ended a multi-year relationship. In recent years, I have developed some chronic health issues (fatigue, chemical and other sensitivities) that impact my ability to travel and spend time in some public places/homes. It's like an invisible – and inconsistent – handicap. I have a healthy attitude about my situation, and I believe I can be a wonderful partner for someone who understands, and who has some quiet shared interests (and who doesn't wear cologne or use scented candles, etc.). My health was not the reason this last relationship ended. But I'm wondering how to approach dating and would appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. How should I frame my situation and how much do I share up front? I don't want the initial connection to be all about my illness. … [Read more...] about When should I tell my dates about my chronic illness?
Hi Meredith! My ex and I dated for four and a half years and were engaged. We had the entire wedding planned, and about five months out from the wedding, I told him I wasn't sure about getting married because I felt we had some things to work out before we said "I do." He wanted to break up because he felt blindsided, and I wanted to work it out because I loved him. Two months later, he messaged a girl from his work late night from my Facebook page. He didn’t realize that I was logged into his computer. We broke up and he moved out. Two or three weeks go by and we causally start hookup up. Terrible choice, I know. I was so confused and thought I still loved him and was feeling so vulnerable. We hooked up on and off for about a year before he got into a serious relationship. A couple of years have gone by and he just got out of said relationship. We started causally catching up and without intending to, hung out and hooked up again. I don't have feelings for him, but like the … [Read more...] about Should I start hooking up with my ex again?
“How much should I be saving?”This is the most common question people have about personal finance. Whether taking out life insurance, critical illness insurance, saving for retirement, or buying lotto tickets, ‘how much?' is the first question that comes up. Well, if you are thinking about saving for your retirement, look no further than this esteemed column. This week, those nice people at Scottish Widows (SW) have stepped in to help, by publishing their ‘Retirement Report 2019'.The Pensions Commission recommends that we aim for a pension income that is between 50 per cent and 80 per cent of our working wage at the end of our career. Of course, we're taking a cut on our full wage, but they say that alongside the drop in income come many cuts in our outgoings. We may, for instance, no longer have a mortgage to pay, we may no longer need to pay as much for transportation costs. How far do you live from your office? Will you still be wanting to visit them every … [Read more...] about How much should I be saving for retirement?
We are starting Season 3 of the podcast! Whereas Season 1 was about breakups and Season 2 was about how to find love, Season 3 is going to attempt to answer this familiar Love Letters question: "How do you know?" Take a look at this form and tell me your stories. Also, enjoy this (mildly explicit) live bonus episode, which was recorded two weeks ago in Somerville. You can get it on Spotify here. And send letters, please. I met this man at work in 2015. I saw him at the reception area. I asked around but no one seemed to know who he was. Turned out, he was located off-site at a satellite location, which I found out nearly two years later when I officially met him. The attraction was strong, and when I finally got to know him, he was a charmer. He was nice to me and would go out his way to greet me with a hug, coffee, or pastries from a shop next door. I had a boyfriend at the time and had to draw a line at reciprocating, and was only friendly with him. I left the job and sent a … [Read more...] about Should I come clean to my former work crush?